Ended up calling 10 different places before finding someone who could come out for the AC. Exactly the 10th one (although I had some dropped calls and some back and forth with other places). 11th if you count an automated form with HomeDepot. They called me around 5pm after the other guy had already written up a contract. They can replace just the air handler, put a surge protector on it for free, put an air purifier on it, and have 10yrs parts and labor warranty. It will cost more than both units combined did back in 2010, but it will be worth it to have working AC again.
I cleaned up kitchen and hallway a bit, cleaned litterboxes again, put down carpet powder, and sprayed febreeze. Guy was really nice. Looked at outside unit, inside unit and got prices and stuff. They will come out tomorrow to install and haul the old unit off for free.