Brian,
With what you have said so far, it sounds like your well is producing surface water. The well may be 80 some feet deep, but have a hole in the casing allowing the surface water to fill the well so your pump only gets the surface water. You mentioned a neutralizer. That almost always indicates a very low PH. You said you have nitrates, that is also a problem with surface water wells. The iron could be from anywhere.
I hear people all the time saying "We don't drink the water, we just use it for bathing etc." Read this:
Drinking Water and Health
Contaminants in drinking water are of concern to the publics health because many people can be exposed to them, especially from large Community Water Systems. Contaminants in drinking water can be either natural or man-made. People can be exposed to contaminants in drinking water not only by drinking the water, but also by eating foods prepared with the water, breathing water droplets or chemicals released from the water while showering, or by absorbing chemicals through their skin while bathing.
Some drinking water contaminants of special interest are nitrates, disinfection by-products, arsenic and lead.
These chemicals and many more can be in your water if it's near the surface. Have your water checked for hardness. It it's more than a few grains hard, you may just have a nasty deep well, but if it's soft, it's almost certain to be surface water.
I'm not saying these things to be a smart A**, I'm just stating facts and trying to warn you about what may be in your water. And a whole house filter won't touch these things.